Golden Rule 1: My conscientious self, keep to your principles in prosperity as well as in adversity.

How easy it is to be kind and just and friendly when one is prosperous and surrounded by congenial circumstances and how challenging it is to be so when circumstances are difficult. When one finds one’s self stressed and strained, tired and weary, pushed to one’s limits, then comes the test. We might be tempted to compromise our own integrity, arguing to ourself that it is a matter of expediency. At such moments one’s principles are really needed. Can we uphold our code?

It is easy to be polite to someone who is polite to you. It comes naturally. It is not so easy to be polite to someone who is not polite to you. It is then that we are tested. And if we uphold our principles in adversity, then those principles are powerful, real, true, and meaningful.

And so we might consider this also when we find that we are facing behavior from others that is difficult to bear. We often forget that others are probably under some strain and it helps us to exercise understanding and compassion when we can remember that adversity challenges all of us in our ideals.

When it comes to ourselves we may make a resolution to notice when I am under pressure. Shall I rise to the challenge, knowing I am under strain; could I resist the temptation to compromise my ideals? Knowing when one is in adversity, one can strive precisely at that time to redouble one’s dedication to one’s ideals.

We are here on earth to be tested, because virtues are not so real in heaven. It is all too easy there. Virtues become real when tested and tried, when we are challenged. And so here we are on earth that we may face limitation, opposition, and all of the trials and tribulations of this world, and uphold what is true and good and beautiful so that it may be made real. We must hold ourselves to the highest standard of accountability and to see the challenges as God’s given opportunity. “Make God a reality, and God will make you the truth.”

My conscientious self, keep to your principles in prosperity as well as in adversity.

Golden Rule 2: My conscientious self, be firm in faith through life’s tests and trials.

The first rule concerns being consistent in our principles amidst tests and trials, and this second rule asks us, in addition to holding to our principles, to have faith and not give way to despair, because each new moment brings a new dispensation.

The poet Tulsidas said that Ravana, the demon king who abducted Sita, was Rama’s greatest devotee. Like Rama, we all face tests and trials of different kinds in our life and ordinarily we meet these challenges with frustration, wishing the problems would just go away. But if we look at our problems as tests and trials, we see that we are being provoked that we might respond in a manner that brings forth hitherto unrevealed dimensions of our own being. If all were ease and comfort, none of these qualities would ever manifest. If there were no mistakes or misjudgements, forgiveness and compassion could never be shown. So just as our limitation sets the stage for the Divine Forgiveness, so the ordeals that we face in life provide an opportunity for the embodiment of qualities of being that exist otherwise only in seed.

If one has been challenged, what would it mean to think of the person or the circumstance not as an enemy but as one’s greatest devotee? If someone provokes you, could you think here is a person who is asking to learn from what I might say or do? Of course when we are provoked, the one who provokes us generally expects that we will react in kind; with anger and resentment. But suppose that we disappoint that expectation and surprise our adversary with qualities of being that transform the very nature of the encounter. Then one’s adversary really becomes the student of the situation.

But then perhaps you have found yourself with one who engages in the conflict with such integrity that although your interests are different, you cannot help but respect that other one, and see him or her in some sense as a friend. So we might likewise strive to be such a one, that those who find themselves in conflict with us, while they might continue to pursue that disagreement, will be compelled to acknowledge the integrity of our responses.

What allows this integrity to show itself? There is a hint in this rule: to be firm in faith. Faith is hope; one does not pity oneself but feels the hand of the Divine protection and guidance always above one’s head, even when things seems darkest. Faith gives one firmness, strength, and resilience, however difficult the circumstances. Faith gives clarity of purpose so that one does not succumb to temptations. With faith one feels that this too shall pass and what is of utmost significance is that I face it with integrity, honesty, compassion, and good will. Faith assures me that I will master and embody those qualities that are being summoned forth in me and that I will be a channel through which the Divine Names can more and more reveal themselves in the world. Never mind fame and fortune, just let yourself be a transparency through which the Divine Life can more and more realize itself on earth.

My conscientious self, be firm in faith through life’s tests and trials.

Golden Rule 3: My conscientious self, guard the secrets of friends as your most sacred trust.

Murshid often links these two words: secret and sacred. When one undertakes initiation in the Sufi Order, one is asked, “Will you receive the spiritual guidance that is offered to you as your sacred and secret trust?” One is enjoined not to speak publicly about the very inner processes of our path, to keep them veiled because that is the proper context for very fine, delicate, transcendental experience. As soon as one begins to speak thoughtlessly about something, it becomes narrowed down and made ordinary.

Likewise this principle has a bearing upon our relationships with others. One of the beauties of friendship is confidence to confide in each other, to feel that one can unburden one’s heart to another in trust and mutual respect for the sanctity of the exchange. It is an intimation from one heart to another, a whispering of secrets and disclosure of the inner story of one’s heart which one keeps so strictly hidden because exposed to public view, it suffers. If we have depth in our life, it is because there is that within us which is difficult to speak of. It shrivels when exposed. It needs the quietude and intimacy of subtle heart-full moments of connection; it cannot be broadcast lest it should become denuded of its paradox, lyricism, and truth. A part of deep friendship is the ability to communicate at an uncommon level. If we expect another’s trust we must be trustworthy which means always resisting the temptation to break confidence, to divulge what is not to be spoken.

We have a tendency to mix up our relationships and that gives rise to many problems. All too often if we have a problem with a person, we tend to mix it up with other people. We go to someone else and complain about that person or we become frustrated with one person and we take it out on another. Sometimes we are surprised by others because they treat us in a totally unexpected way. It is perhaps because that person is frustrated with another and irrationally connects the other person with you.

So if we would seek clarity, we need to treat each relationship as unique and this principle helps us to move in that direction. If someone has confided something in us, it asks us to respect that confidence. Another thing about speaking about people when they are not present is that it tends to take the conversation away from what is happening right here, this present moment. If we would really be alive to one another, it requires a certain consideration when it comes to speaking of those who are not present.

My conscientious self, regard the secrets of friends as your most sacred trust.

Golden Rule 4: My conscientious self, observe constancy in love.

May this rule remind us to be true to love and not to succumb to distraction and apathy, but to return again and again to that deep feeling in the heart that unites us with all that is true and good and beautiful, which is to say, all that exists.

My conscientious self, observe constancy in love.

Golden Rule 5: My conscientious self, break not your word of honor whatever may befall.

These words concern our honor, our conscious commitment to our ideal. We are reminded that when we have given a promise, we must honor that promise, even if it means a sacrifice. If we wish to be responsible and reliable, someone who can be depended upon, then our word is our bond, and it is imperative to fulfill it.

My conscientious self, break not your word of honor whatever may befall.

Golden Rule 6: My conscientious self, meet the world with smiles in all conditions of life.

It is ordinary to smile when circumstances are favorable. The challenge of this rule is to learn to smile even amidst hardship; even when we are tired, stretched, exhausted, still to smile, if not with one’s mouth, with what Murshid calls a smiling forehead, a face that beams.

What is meant by a smile? A smile on the lips is wonderful. Murshid speaks of the smiling forehead, of radiating love, understanding, forgiveness, and blessings. It is done with a face expansive and open to the world. Noor’s last words, in some real sense, are as a smile in the face of terrible violence and darkness. She chose not to react in kind with a hostile word. In the midst of such violence, to be able to declare freedom can only be a smile. In all conditions, we might contemplate, “What is the smile that best answers the moment?” Is it a smile from the lips, the forehead, or is it a word? In all conditions, there is a possibility of a smile. Noor very much proves this point.

There was once a village, just outside of which was a great wall, and the villagers always wondered what lay beyond the wall. It was terra incognita, the place of mystery. And from time to time some intrepid soul would venture to climb the wall, but invariably the explorer never returned. And so villagers were left in the dark. Finally one of them had an epiphany. He thought if I tie myself by a rope and climb over the wall, my friend can pull me back and then the mystery will be solved. So this fellow climbed the wall, reached the other side and was reeled back over. But there was a problem. Everyone was eager to find out what he would say about this strange land beyond. They asked him endless questions but he wouldn’t respond; in fact he wouldn’t speak at all. From that day he was speechless, but the villagers noticed a change had come over him. He always wore on his face a wide, beaming smile. And the wall henceforth was known as the Wall of Smiles.

The smile is a natural expression of a state of inner peace and it gives peace to others. But it’s also true, when we lose our inner repose, that the practice of smiling can help us to regain our peace. Not only does the smile express peace but it stimulates it within.

My conscientious self, meet the world with smiles in all conditions of life.

Golden Rule 7: My conscientious self, when you possess something, think of the one who does not possess it.

If we could take a moment to be aware of the gifts that are given—the bountiful food, a safe and peaceful place to be, the freedom to follow our tradition, and so many other aspects of freedom—we could also take a moment to be aware of those who do not possess the gifts we have in our lives. That thought might also prompt us to remember not to take what we have for granted.

We are so often preoccupied with our own challenges and hardships that we fail to notice how slight our challenges really are when compared to the very great needs of many people throughout the world who are struggling just to survive. Thinking in this way relieves us of our own anxiety about ourself and also arouses a natural spirit of solidarity and generosity. Strangely enough those who are most preoccupied in administering to the happiness of others are the happiest. One might think that trying to make oneself happy is the key to happiness, but that thinking is backward.

One can pray and wish for those who do not have what we have, and one might also see sources of meaning and blessing in their life which we do not possess. Share the good that one has with others, hold another in one’s prayers, and see how each of us has different blessings. Celebrate that prolific abundance.

And there is also a thought of how this rule bears a connection to the Message. There are many souls who are drifting, who are seeking but are unable to find. When we realize how blessed we have been in our inner life, how much has been shown to us on our path, we see how many are still thirsty for what we have drunk. Then we feel called to see our path as not merely our own but as companionship to many fellow travelers and to recognize that we may perhaps help them along.

This is an awakening which Murshid speaks of, when a mureed no longer merely pursues his or her own perfection, but discovers instead the path of serving the Message by sharing it with others.

My conscientious self, when you possess something, think of the one who does not possess it.

Golden Rule 8: My conscientious self, uphold your honor at any cost.

Can you sense within, beyond concepts, the subtle substance of honor? Just think how tragic it is that so many seek worldly advantage, which is nothing compared to this pure, sacred quality of being.

Notions of honor are not always well thought out. If we are insulted, we suppose we have been dishonored. Harmful acts are justified in defense of one’s honor. If one has been insulted, one invokes one’s honor and retaliates. But this is a misunderstanding because no one can dishonor anyone except him- or herself. The one who would dishonor us only dishonors him- or herself.

No one can truly offend your honor, because your honor does not consist in what is done to you. In reality, it consists in adherence to your own highest understanding of the good, the true, and the beautiful. Your own conscience is your honor. We dishonor ourselves when we fall below our own ideal.

Of course living up to one’s ideal is a lifetime’s work. In the Gayan Murshid says that he often feels as though he is playing see-saw with his ideal; when his ideal rises up, he comes down, and when he goes up, the ideal comes down. The ideal is that image of perfection which has been planted in the soul of each one of us, and its enactment on earth is the very summation of all possible integrity, honor, and perfection. And yet it is a struggle. We have been created with the potential for perfection but we have also been created to live in an imperfect world, to be subjected to the vicissitudes of imperfection, internally as well as externally. One of the qualities of perfection is compassion which can only exist in relation to imperfection. And so a part of completing one’s own perfection is compassionately coming to terms with the limitations that one meets in oneself and others.

So a question arises when we come to a crossroads. At a moment of choice, which way is the path of honor? Some choices might seem very attractive as they offer us getting ahead in life, gaining prestige, wealth, power, comfort, and convenience. And yet the attainment of these luxuries is not always consistent with the path of honor. In fact very often it is just the reverse. The path of honor requires us to make certain sacrifices but we do so because it is in the spirit of the integrity of the ideal which we cherish and which has an attraction for us, a satisfaction which ultimately outstrips all of these distracting temptations.

Honor is integrity at any cost. It would be be better to lose comforts, privileges, and possessions rather than to sacrifice a particle of one’s integrity, which is one’s true treasure. Everything else can be taken away, material, objects, position in the world, these things come and go in dramatic reversals. But integrity, no one can take away from you. When we pass, it is the fulfillment of our ideal we will take with us and nothing else. Keep to what you know to be true or right.

My conscientious self, uphold your honor at any cost.

Golden Rule 9: My conscientious self, hold your ideal high in all circumstances.

This rule calls upon us to hold our ideal high. If one reflects on it, one might find that the substance of one’s ideal is the latent perfection within oneself, the presence of the Divine. My father used to say that prayer is the most creative of acts. On the surface it seems the least creative of acts. While everyone is out in the world doing things and making things, the one who is praying is seemingly unproductive. But in calling upon the Divine Names, one is opening the heart to receive the infusion of the Divine Qualities. And so one is re-created in the image of God. And then when one acts, it is the Divine Action working through you, it is the blossoming personality of God revealing itself in your expanding, deepening, widening personality.

This rule is also a reminder that alteration of circumstances around us does not justify an alteration in our ideal. Generosity and kindness must persist in the face of difficulty, otherwise we are just mirroring what comes, and not standing resolutely in that higher vision of life that is our ideal. Notice the temptation to succumb to influences acting upon you in such a manner that you would depart from the clear guidance of your own conscience, and how it can happen in an instant without reflection. Suddenly one has slipped down into mere reactivity. If one pauses to reflect, perhaps one can preempt the temptation by holding clearly one’s ideal. One can remind one’s self that the value of upholding one’s ideal cannot be compared with the trifling advantages to be gained by denying one’s ideals. In the moment those advantages may seem attractive enough whereas to hold one’s ideal would mean perhaps sacrificing those premiums. In the eyes of the world you would come out the worse for your decision. But you would know the value, and God knows, and in the silence of sincere contemplation that is what matters. When we leave this world we leave with those ideals that we have held intact.

My conscientious self, hold your ideal high in all circumstances.

Golden Rule 10: My conscientious self, do not neglect those who depend upon you.

Upon entering this world as helpless infants, we were the very picture of need, the very embodiment of dependence. We depended upon our mother and father, but especially the mother.

In time we have developed the ability not only to care for ourselves but also for others. But we have never become completely independent because we depend on the help and assistance of many beings for the rudiments we require for our physical existence. Some of those beings we see every day, but there are also those who are invisible to us. There is a great network of interdependence that unites us all in our common goals of life, liberty, and happiness. Life is good when these connections are strong, when we can depend upon each other, when we fulfill our trust; life becomes hard, and sometimes tragic, when these bonds break down and we cannot rely upon each other. So this essential trust, the duties we have toward each other, is what makes the world whole.

There is a blessing no doubt for one who stands in the need of another to receive that which the other can give. But there is also a blessing in being needed, and giving to the one who needs something from you. Though we may sometimes complain of obligations that are put upon us in this life, there is a gift to us in being called upon to give to others. If we don’t see that now, surely we’ll see it one day with gratitude.

Although caring for another, fulfilling duty, being reliable, involves the sacrifice of certain freedoms, there is in it a satisfaction that cannot be found in the gratification of any appetite. And that itself is a kind of freedom. In a sense it’s the ultimate freedom. Murshid said: “The path of freedom leads to bondage, whereas the path of discipline leads to freedom.” Duty is harsh, dry, and brittle when there is no heart in it but becomes joyous when one’s sacrifice is truly for the sake of another, and one feels the happiness that the other gains. Then it’s all worthwhile.

This rule asks us to consider those who depend upon us. We look back at the times when we have depended upon others, and we feel grateful for those who have fulfilled their responsibilities toward us. Now we look at our own lives and see that there are those around us who need us in some degree, some more acutely, some more distantly; there are numerous bonds in our life of responsibility and duty.

No doubt we cannot meet every demand that is presented to us. The demands may sometimes be truly impossible ones. And the Rule does not require of us to satisfy every demand. It says only not to neglect those who depend upon us but to extend our sympathetic understanding and do what we can.

One will find that the circle of those with whom one is bound in duty, will gradually expand to encompass the whole world because, in some sense, this world needs us. We have been born in this world to fulfill a purpose, not merely to take our pleasure from it, but to offer a service. Our thought, speech, and actions reverberate and resound and become part of the fabric of the world. If the world is to thrive and to flourish, it needs the addition of what is noble in us. Humanity depends upon it. The whole world depends upon our choices. Our innermost being is looking on, waiting, watching. “How shall we spend these days that are given to us here?”

And above the soul, looming overhead, the cloud of witnesses, the holy messengers, prophets, saints, and masters depend upon us, because we are embodied, and they are now disembodied. If we remember them, if we attune to their Message, we are responsible to enact it. They are waiting and watching.

Let us resolve for each one of us, to attain the fullest possible clarity as to what is asked of us now, what our life’s purpose requires, and to offer it unhesitatingly and joyously, knowing that when we have left this world this is all that has mattered. Nothing else will matter but that, while on earth, we thought, spoke, and acted upon guidance in tune with that purpose which came from the light of our very soul.

Do not neglect those who depend upon you.